Breaking News, Y'All
Lacey: Hey! What up, yo?
Lorraine: There are rumors. Bad ones. Credible ones.
Reality Steve says Jef and Emily are over.
Their twitter feeds seem to back his claims.
Lacey: Whoa whoa whoa. What are they saying?!
Lorraine: well, emily hasn't tweeted in 5 days. Which in Bachelorhood is like a year. And Jef tweeted: "What comes easy wont last. What lasts won't come easy."
Lacey: Holy cow.
Lorraine: And Reality Steve says he has credible sources that they broke up over the weekend, and are still working out how to break it to the press.
I have to say, Reality Steve is pretty reliable. He doesn't like to be wrong.
Lacey: I don't know whether to be sad or jump out of my chair and do a happy dance.
Lacey: Tell me how to feel!
I just hope he moves that fine pompadour back to Pleasant Grove where I can casually bump into him at the supermarket on my way home from work. Crossing my fingers.
Lorraine: Tough one. I think I will lean towards Happy Dance, because I want Jef to open presents with us and your giant brood of children on Christmas Morning someday.
beautiful, beautiful children. So beautiful.
Lacey: Happy dance it is! Woo woo!
Lorraine: running man dance
Lorraine: heck no, that's how you're going to get his number, OBVIOUSLY.
Lacey: Ha ha!!!
Lorraine: I only feel bad for one person in all of this. Ricky. Poor girl goes along for her mom's ride through celebritytown, meets a great father figure, and now she'll never see that guy again. And from the sounds of it, it was Emily's missteps that ended the relationship. Poor form, Maynard.
Lacey: It's true. Dude was coaching her soccer team. That's tough for a little girl to handle.
What is Emily thinking? She has a guy like Jef and she keeps messing around? Girl has not got it together.
Assuming the rumors are true.
Lorraine: I guess people who do watch ESPN and don't watch the Bachelor (you know, dudes) who knew the football player she was texting said it was legitimately unsurprising. It's kind of like an unbiased opinion of sorts.
Ugh. She seemed charming on the show, but this all seems to imply that she really was doing it for all the wrong reasons, doesn't it? Why do I care, Lacey? WHY DO I CARE?
Lacey: Don't cry, Lorraine. Don't cry. You're not alone.
Lorraine has restored my hopes and dreams by gifting me with the below photo entitled, "The First Meme of the Rest of Your Life."