Breaking News, Y'All
Lorraine: Lacey.
Lacey: Hey! What up, yo?
Lorraine: There are rumors. Bad ones. Credible ones.
Reality Steve says Jef and Emily
are over.
Their twitter feeds seem to back
his claims.
Lacey: Whoa whoa
whoa. What are they saying?!
Lorraine: well, emily hasn't tweeted in 5 days. Which in
Bachelorhood is like a year. And Jef tweeted: "What comes easy wont last.
What lasts won't come easy."
Lacey: Holy cow.
Lorraine: And Reality Steve says he has credible sources that
they broke up over the weekend, and are still working out how to break it to
the press.
I have to say, Reality Steve is
pretty reliable. He doesn't like to be wrong.
Lacey: I don't know whether to be sad or jump out of my chair
and do a happy dance.
Lorraine: hahahhahah
Lacey: Tell me how to feel!
I just hope he moves that fine
pompadour back to Pleasant Grove where I can casually bump into him at the
supermarket on my way home from work. Crossing my fingers.
Lorraine: Tough one. I think I will lean towards Happy Dance,
because I want Jef to open presents with us and your giant brood of children on
Christmas Morning someday.
beautiful, beautiful children.
So beautiful.
Lacey: Happy dance it is! Woo woo!
Lorraine: running man dance
sprinkler dance
breakdance
Lacey: flashdance
too far?
Lorraine: heck no, that's how you're going to get his number,
OBVIOUSLY.
Lacey: Ha ha!!!
Lorraine: I only feel bad for one person in all of this. Ricky.
Poor girl goes along for her mom's ride through celebritytown, meets a great
father figure, and now she'll never see that guy again. And from the sounds of it, it was Emily's
missteps that ended the relationship. Poor form, Maynard.
Lacey: It's true. Dude was coaching her soccer team. That's
tough for a little girl to handle.
What is Emily thinking? She has
a guy like Jef and she keeps messing around? Girl has not got it together.
Assuming the rumors are true.
Lorraine: I guess people who do watch ESPN and don't watch the
Bachelor (you know, dudes) who knew the football player she was texting said it
was legitimately unsurprising. It's kind of like an unbiased opinion of sorts.
Ugh. She seemed charming on the
show, but this all seems to imply that she really was doing it for all the
wrong reasons, doesn't it? Why do I care, Lacey? WHY DO I CARE?
bwuh-huh-huuuuh!!
Lacey: Don't cry, Lorraine. Don't cry. You're not alone.
Lorraine has restored my hopes and dreams by gifting me with the below photo entitled, "The First Meme of the Rest of Your Life."
Can't. Wait.
